warning; a useless, ridiculously long dramatic rant. don’t read if you simply will have nothing nice to say or if you don’t care for my feelings, please and thank you. carrying on, i’ve been doing a lot of self-reflecting and i’ve noticed that i give so much of my energy to people that simply don’t put effort into our friendship or bluntly don’t care. i wasn’t a perfect angel, i’m still not but what i’ve said and done shouldn’t define me. i apologize for a reason, not to be an angel or whatever. i have quite a lot of triggers, from abuse and from bullying. i honestly do not know to handle anger and hate so yah i have trouble with being nice and kind to those who ignore me and hurt me. i promised myself last night that if i feel like a friendship isn’t going anywhere or if that person is bad for my mental health, no matter how close or whatever we are, they’re cut. i’m working on accepting that people will not always forgive me and moving on from that. they’re irrelevant, holding grudges doesn’t effect me. only effects them. forgiving for yourself is important. anyways, i don’t know where this rant is going but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ .. i just hate how role play is such a dark nasty place where people think the worst of you for everything. we all need to embrace who we are, and i totally embrace myself and my friends. yah, i can be dramatic and bitchy sometimes but that’s me and i need to work on it because i want to not because everyone is telling me i need to fix myself. i’m only toxic around bad people, i have been friends with faith ( @ancientloves ) for over a year, and never once have we fought or anything. we’ve been strong and supportive. if i feel yucky, i’ll tell you. i’m very blunt and i am not sorry, only sorry when i’m mean.. which i never am unless i have a real reason. SO YAH, conclusion is that i love myself for who i am, i will not change because a certain GROUP of friends hates me. i will not stand down and i will not waste my breath or energy on people who will just ignore me, fuck me over, and simply aren’t good friends here. i want to be happy, and no bitch will take that from me.